Thursday 10 April 2014

RAT'S ASS


In crowded hallways and all places public, we have all had intense eye-contact moments. With random strangers. Sometimes we ignore. Many times we are creeped out. Other times we are game. For a session of hot and reciprocated stare. Okay, no heat, but reciprocation, yes. And as scientists who have closely observed social behaviour in Antarctica, suggest, we might go down in history as level amateur bad-ass people. (There, there, hold your champagnes yet.)

My peanut of a brain has rigged images of bad-assery for me. I am sure you will relate. Think bad-ass. Think Bear Grylls. Think Bruce Willis. Or Seal Team Six, anybody? Think Evey Hammond. Or Uma Thurman. Think Bane. Think Lara Croft. Or Walter White. (Breaking Bad-ass.) Random thought number one: Notice the lack of hair in half the people here.

You don't actually have to be bad and live on the edge to be badass. Free-spirited and having an eye for adventure in life's tiniest details works. Listening to your inner Beelzebub can be fun sometimes. But only a little, because you sure don't want to deal with Karma later. It is good to be careless and not give a shit sometimes.

It is okay to pose stupid for the CCTVs. Bunk classes. Dress inappropriately. Venture into restricted places. Sneak out. Manage multi-personalities. Pull practical pranks. Guys will understand this; use a urinal which is next to an occupied one, in an otherwise empty row of urinals. *Urinal politics gone wrong, anyone?*

Be careful of other imposter asses. Here's a small walk-through that will help. You took the pills your vet prescribed? Sick-ass. Literally. You bought Apple shares when they were cheap? Smart-ass. You got upgraded to Business Class at no extra charge? Lucky-ass. You pelted stones at Yuvi's house over some World Cup? Dumbass. You took a selfie in the loo and shared it all over internet? Insta-ass. Yes, I like all my puns intended.
Random thought number two: Doesn't selfie seem like a legit euphemism? I gave myself a quickie or ummm...selfie! Think about it.

Don't confuse innocent badassery for notoriety. You don't want to be that prick who is conveniently hated. Don't get personal and more importantly, don't be a badass at somebody else's expense. 

Being bit of a badass will add to your charm. It is like a crooked next level of a good sense of humour. A tinge of bad-assery will take you a long way. And so will those heavily endorsed extra-mile fuels. Same pinch, huh?